You Won't Be Like Me
by iheartvector
Summary: A song-fic for Dean/Ruby. Enjoy!


While reading this (I suggest to) listen to this song by The Calling – Wherever You Will Go.

*edited*

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><p><strong>You won't be like me.<strong>

Dean Winchester had enough.

He spent almost his entire life for hunting, continuing his father's job, saving people, hunting things, killing demons, monsters or creatures. He never had a normal life, because he's cursed. His job, it's like creating his own kind of Hell.

He's bound with a deal, a deal that he made for Sammy to bring him back from dead. And he's not ready, of course not, cause he's about to go straight to the pit when the deal is over. For the first time he knew what was like being dying.

He realized how much his un-perfect and un-normal life is precious. He's still alive, still can have burgers, pies, his Impala, chics, beers and the most important, his little brother Sammy with him.

And….

Ruby.

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><p><em>So lately, been wondering<em>  
><em> Who will be there to take my place<em>  
><em> When I'm gone you'll need love<em>  
><em> To light the shadows on your face<em>  
><em> If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all<em>  
><em> Then between the sand and stone<em>  
><em> Could you make it on your own <em>

_ If I could, then I would_  
><em> I'll go wherever you will go<em>  
><em> Way up high or down low<em>  
><em> I'll go wherever you will go<em>

* * *

><p>She's different. Yes, because she's a demon, but was a human.<p>

She always gave him her cocky smile or that sassy attitude just to piss him off every time she met him. Dean could have just killed her, but he didn't and he had his reason.

Because Dean loved her.

She could be a demon, but she'd never lie to him. Yes, she never lied.

It was hard at first, he's mad with Sam why he would trust a demon, even though she said to Dean directly that she remember what what's like being human, but that was not enough for Dean. He had fight with Sam several times. 'Have you lost your mind trusting a demon?' That question always come out from Dean's mouth.

Not after what happened that night…

Dean went to a store to buy a few beers and supplies, and when he's back to the motel, he found the door was opened just a bit. Someone's in there. It couldn't be Sam because Sam is at Bobby's house and he just called. A housekeeper? Can't be, he paid them more to forbid anyone entering his room when he's gone. Someone's breaking and entering when he left all the guns and ammos on the bed without being kept in the bag? Not good. Dean pulled out his gun, took a peep and then he saw her, his eyes widened, it's Ruby.

_What is she doing here?_

She's sitting on the bed, alone, with head's looking down. Dean narrowed his eyes to make sure.

_What's that? Is she?_

Yes, he saw water falling from her eyes, she tried to wipe it away but it just keeps on falling on her cheeks. She bit her lip, to hold it but she can't.

Ruby is crying.

Well not that kind of moaning and sobbing kind of crying, but that tears wasn't fake, she literally cried, alone, in silence.

She didn't saw him coming, and she didn't know that Dean was watching her.

He can't watch a girl cry, but this case, a 'Ruby' cried? She used to scowl at him or something like that, but now he saw a diverse side of her and that girl who cried, definitely not a demon. And she looked depressed. But, he can't just stand and doing nothing. First, he decided to leave, but after a few steps, he turned his body. He sighed and slowly, he came in and closed the door carefully. She stood up because she heard someone closed the door and surprised when she knew that Dean who was coming, with tears on her face.

Staring at her and already forgot who Ruby really is, the only thing he saw is a girl who cried.

"Dean..." Her voice sounded shaky.

She thought that he'd yell at her, pointed her with gun or told her to leave, but no, Dean didn't say a word, as matter affect he approached her and pulled her into his arms, to let her cry on his shoulder.

"It's okay." Says Dean, and his voice was like whisper in her ears, and very comforting. She hugged him back, tighter, and she continued crying without a sound. Dean can feel her holding him so hard, her body was shaking and his hand spontaneously rubbed her back.

That moment was heartbreaking.

That night, she can't stand it anymore, about the pressure on her chest, and that was the reason she came. She was waiting for Sam, she thought it was Dean who was at Bobby's, that was why she surprised when it was Dean who's coming. Because she thought Sam would listen to her story and Dean probably won't. But who knew, he'd opened his ears for her.

She told him that she was human once and she remembered what was like become human. She did. She told him how her early life was dark and even worse than the life he had. She told him too, why she wanted to help and fight with them. It was because of Lilith, she made a deal but then she turned her into a demon, the reason she let her out from the pit was for doing Lilith's command.

Lilith said if she works for her, she will get her soul back. But she won't trust her, never again, because she made a promise not to trust a demon anymore.

She killed innocent people, the reason she did that because Lilith promised to give her soul back, which not. Lilith lied to her, with a reason that she was just testing her loyalty. From that moment she knew that demons lie and will always do and she would never become one of them. Never.

That's what she meant when she said, "I'm not like them."

Now, even though she's out and free from the pit, but she was not a human, but a demon. That is worse than Hell. Now, on this world, where she can touch the earth again, she can't feel, numb and it's frustrating. She had no one, she only knew two hunters, Sam and Dean, because Sam is the Boy-King and his brother, Dean. Both of them are famous in Hell, they always talked about them. So, she possessed a coma girl and searched for them and then she finally found the boys. And it started when she was helping Sam and Dean killed the seven deadly sin-demons and demon Tammi.

She was a human, like him, Dean talked in his mind. He felt the regret of treating her so bad before. For the first time, Dean really did looking at her face. She had a pair of beautiful blue eyes and lovely blond hair framing her pretty face. His heart beats faster. He can feel something warm in his chest and the butterflies inside his stomach. All that _cheesy_ things, it was something that he hadn't felt in a long time ago.

For the first time, Ruby treated like human. He didn't give the eyes full-of-hatred on her, but he hugged her, comforted her. She felt safe inside his arms.

And they kissed. It wasn't a passionate kiss but it felt just right.

Dean changed his mind after that night.

Ruby changed her mind after that night.

And both of them had one thing in common. They made a deal with crossroad demon. Didn't know who started it first, but by the time goes by, Ruby always there for Dean.

It wasn't a romantic relationship (if you want to call it _'relationship'_), and they don't discuss it. Because after what happened at the motel, she was still being a smug, arrogant Ruby, and Dean, also being more grumpy and cranky every day.

They fought and had lots of arguments, but in the end they always end it on the bed. Or at the back seat of the Impala. They thought they were like friends with benefits, but it didn't. They denied their feelings each other, tried to hide their affection, Sam knew it but he doesn't want to get involved. Dean and Ruby are two _idiots_ who won't confess their feelings.

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><p><em>And maybe, I'll find out <em>  
><em> A way to make it back someday <em>  
><em> To watch you, to guide you<em>  
><em> Through the darkest of your days <em>_  
><em>

* * *

><p>Until one night they talked.<p>

Dean scared, he never been so frightened like this. He's been thinking too, about when he's gone, who will be there for her. She doesn't know anyone in this world except him and Sam, he presumed that Sam can handle it no matter what happen, because Sam got Sarah with him.

But what about Ruby? She'll be alone in this world without him beside her. He always had the thought, when the day is come, who will be there for her?

He promised her that he will pull her out from the dark, don't know how but he will find a way. Ruby didn't say anything, she's becoming unpredictable, and she became so serene. He thought that she didn't care about it, until she said, "You won't be like me." then Dean thought maybe she was just trying to _calm_ him by not saying lots of word.

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><p>The part that she never lied, well, she did. Didn't know where she had that faith on him, but she's right, she did not <em>lie.<em>

Dean still dead when the deal ended.

Just like she said, "You can't run from the deal."

But he's back, whole and alive.

* * *

><p><em>If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all <em>  
><em> Then I hope there's someone out there <em>  
><em> Who can bring me back to you <em>

* * *

><p>He can't remember what was like in Hell, but what he can remember is that dreadful memory. The night when the deal's over, when the Hellhound got him and tortured him, he looked at her eyes. They found Lilith, possessing a little girl and she pinned Ruby and Sam on the wall. Lilith wanted them to watch Dean died in front of their eyes. Sam was crying and screaming 'NO' to Lilith, while Ruby, she can only watched him, she looked at him with tears rolling down her cheeks.<p>

He remembered how she was staring at him, she looked tormented, and he can see the sorrow in her eyes. Dean knew she must not to watched, but she did. He hated to see her cry, but she won't let her eyes off from Dean.

Now Dean is alive but Ruby's not there with him.

He met an angel name Castiel, who came in a human form, he said he was the one who brought him back. Dean never believes in angels, there are no such things, until Castiel told him that the one who brought him back is Ruby.

She made a deal with an angel.

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><p><em>If I could, then I would<br>I'll go wherever you will go  
>Way up high or down low<br>I'll go wherever you will go _

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><p>Dean lost his strength at that moment straight away, he fell on his knees. He gripped his head, he can't breathe, that what she meant, the part what she said he won't be like her, she was about to bring him <em>back<em>. She did all of this for Dean.

She did not lie. She kept her promise.

And the penalty was to give herself to Castiel. Which he doesn't know neither she was dead or back to Hell.

* * *

><p><em>Run away with my heart <em>  
><em> Run away with my hope <em>  
><em> Run away with my love <em>

* * *

><p>They never say goodbye. He was never got a chance to say how much he loved her, how much he wanted to have her, to say that "you're mine".<p>

And Dean hasn't told her how much he wants her to be the one who gave him the _apple pie-life_.

* * *

><p><em>I know now, just quite how <em>  
><em> My life and love might still go on <em>  
><em> In your heart, in your mind<em>  
><em> I'll stay with you for all of time <em>

_If I could, then I would  
>I'll go wherever you will go<br>Way up high or down low  
>I'll go wherever you will go<br>_

* * *

><p>He was never felt this agonizing before, the feeling of having no hope to see her again. He wanted to follow her but to where? If he did that her 'deal' with Castiel would be <em>useless<em>.

Then Sam came to him and tapped his shoulder, stared him with bitter smile. Dean nodded at him, he still got his brother. Yes. He still got his little brother, the family he had. That moment was also like Dean being reminded by Ruby.

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><p><em> <em>If I could turn back time<em>  
><em> I'll go wherever you will go<em>  
><em> If I could make you mine<em>  
><em> I'll go wherever you will go <em> _

* * *

><p>Now, Ruby's gone, for Dean. But he must live, for her, he must go on with his life. He got to deal with the fact of living a life <em>without her<em>.

With her words keep on repeating in his mind…

_"You won't be like me."_

.

.

.

**End**

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><p>AN: Wheew…this is my first song fic. I made it based on my fics before this, yeah, I mixed it (See the title I chose?). And because I really like this song, and decided it to use it on my first fic. R&amp;R? :)<p>

Thank you, xoxo

iheartvector

PS: Sooooo stupid, I forgot to put the lyrics.. *D'oh!

Now, it's edited! :)


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